My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
