There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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