The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
