I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
