my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
