So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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