I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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