what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
