if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
