Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
