i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
