So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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