whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
