Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
