I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
