Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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