Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
