tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
