i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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