You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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