cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
