After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
