when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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