He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
