I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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