Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
