great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
