i already hear my dad disowning me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
