I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
