i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
