Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
