yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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