Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
