I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
