also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
