I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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