i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm both gender and math confused
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
