gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The air taste purple.
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