he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
