standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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