You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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