The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
please come you make the beer taste better
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
