I think I died a long time ago.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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