There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
