As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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