I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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