It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
