Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
