So drunk its hurt
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
