It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am spending my child support on dildos
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
