Me too!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
