whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
