Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
