Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
