Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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